before my finals week in the last year of University. I only had a few weeks left before my student life ends (if ever I do pursue Graduate studies, it’s going to be different and frankly won’t be as “carefree” as a University student) and how I’ll be entering the real world. I don’t want to make a super dramatic post about finding my soul or self or identity as I struggle to find the meaning in all of this (but maybe it will turn out dramatic, I don’t know). And how I struggle with questions such as, “Holy crap what if the life that I really want wasn’t the course I chose?”, “What now? Where do I go? Do I leave or do I stay?”, “After 8pm of March 23, I’m officially not a student, so does this mean I’ll be a working girl now?” and plenty of questions such as that.

I kind of envy those who have already heard their calling early in their lives. Look at Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg. Do you think they’re successful because of talent? or hard work? No my friends, there has to be luck in this game called life. It’s when you luckily roll the correct number on that dice that you’ll win in Monopoly. Life’s a gamble and only a few can be called winners. A lot of people say that success depends on perspective, I actually agree on that a whole lot. Know the book Secret? The Secret of getting what you want? Well I’ll spoil it to you my friends, it’s actually all about the Secret of the Law of Attraction. Concentrate on positive things, and positive things will go to you. THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME, BE SPECIFIC. But without luck, I don’t think you’ll be as successful too.

I just finished reading Walter Isaacson’s biography on Steve Jobs. It’s a GREAT READ especially for those Steve Jobs/Apple/Mac fans and actually those who want to know in the lives of crazy successful people. Or those with a different line of thought. After reading it, you may disagree with me and would want to rip its pages, heck you might even hate Steve for being an Asshole with a capital A. But I think it’s important to learn his mistakes and know his struggle to success. I just learned about one thing though, he was lucky. He found his passion, heck he called up the head of HEWLETT PACKARD back in the day and was hired as an intern. How gutsy can you be? If you want something that much in life, go get it. But first, you MUST WANT SOMETHING. I think that’s the problem with me, and maybe you too? Or a lot of people out there, ask first the question, WHAT DO YOU WANT. The day you can answer that is the day you can become like Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.

I wasn’t born with a great talent. I’m an adequate but I think a failing singer (well I’d like to think adequate but coming back from a sore throat, my voice has become a man’s voice with the ability to speak like Minnie Mouse. It’s crap XD). I can’t dance well to save my life but I do try. I’m not artistic enough unlike my cousin so I’m just one of the faceless anonymous in this realm. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. So yeah, I’m still searching for that. I have many wants, many many wants, but passion has to be something more concrete. I believe in a lot of things, but which one should is the icing on top of the cake? Hopefully I’ll be able to ask that soon because I feel like I’m just an empty shell (OKAY NOW I’M BEING DRAMATIC SHOOT, I DIDN’T WANT TO BE XD) handing out job applications, one after the other but with so many goals in my head that I don’t know where to turn to. I have a few set of “ideals” I’d like to follow. I’d want to travel and live in another country. I’d really want that but once I commit myself to a company here, would that restrain me? I am sure though that I’ll never join a company that doesn’t confirm with my beliefs and principles. NO TO SMOKING. NO TO ALCOHOL. It’s not that I’m choosy, I still have to respect myself. If you’re next asking me about my relationships… well that’s a matter I don’t want to talk spill at all. Let’s just say, the time will come when I do.

So after 700 words, I’m now going to actually just list down my playlist. Hope you get the feeling of what I was going through in the last few weeks (and up to now actually). My only problem wasn’t about graduation, it was about life. These songs were chosen because of their lyrics, their meaning and their melody. The guy who commentated on Adele’s performance at the Brit Awards 2011 summarized it PERFECTLY.

“There’s nothing quite like the feeling when you’re listening to a song, written by someone you don’t know, who you’ve never met, yet somehow manages to describe exactly how you felt, a particular moment in your life.”

I’ll be sharing the top 10 songs here. Let these songs speak/sing for themselves and I hope you can choose one below and play it as you finish this post. Or just keep it with you. If you don’t, I hope you like any of them. Will be posting their music videos! Don’t have to play them all, or you don’t have to play them at all (well check out the last 4 songs, they’re really. FREAKIN’ AWESOME.). Thanks for reading up to this point my friend. If you have found your passion, you are one lucky person so STRIVE TOWARDS IT. BE POSITIVE, WORK AT IT.

1. Believe – All American Rejects

I don’t ever want to believe
No I don’t ever want to believe yeah
That when we die
We all leave

2. The Cave – Mumford & Sons

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it’s meant to be
And I will hold on hope
And I won’t let you choke
On the noose around your neck
And I’ll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I’ll know my name as it’s called again

3. Change – Taylor Swift

Tonight we stand, get off our knees
Fight for what we’ve worked for all these years
And the battle was long, it’s the fight of our lives
But we’ll stand as champions tonight

4. Defying Gravity – Wicked Cast

I’m through accepting limits
Cause someone says the’re so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I’ll never know…
Tell them how I am
Defying Gravity
I’m flying high
Defying Gravity

5. No Curtain Call – Maroon 5

I have no time for fear
Or people in my ear
Head down and running so fast
Try not to dwell on the past
I’m fighting through this pain
And things I cannot change
Running right into the flame
Rather than running away

6. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da – The Beatles

Ob-la-di Ob-la-da
Life goes on, bra! – REPEAT LOADS OF TIMES

7. Marchin’ On – One Republic

For those days we felt like a mistake,
Those times when love’s what you hate
Somehow
We keep marchin on

For those nights that I couldn’t be there,
I’ve made it harder to know that you know
That somehow
We’ll keep movin on

There’s so many wars we fought
There’s so many things we’re not
But with what we have
I promise you that
We’re marchin on
We’re marchin on

For all of the plans we’ve made
There isn’t a flag I’d wave
Don’t care where we’ve been
I’d sink us to swim
We’re marchin on
We’re marchin on

For those doubts that swirl all around us
For those lives that tear at the seams
We know
We’re not what we’ve seen

Oh
For this dance we move with each other
There ain’t no other step
Than one foot
Right in front of the other
Oh

We’ll have the days we break
And we’ll have the scars to prove it
We’ll have the bombs that we saved
And we’ll have the heart
Not to lose it

8. Shake It Out – Florence + The Machine (DARNNIT THE WHOLE SONG IS FREAKIN’ BEAUTIFUL

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It’s always darkest before the dawn
And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around
And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues strong
But it’s always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaaah….
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It’s a final mess but it’s left me so empty
It’s always darkest before the dawn…
And I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t
So here’s to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I’m ready to suffer and I’m ready to hope
It’s a shot in the dark and right at my throat
Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Looking for heaven, for the devil in me
Well what the hell I’m gonna let it happen to me

9. The Times They Are A-Changing – Bob Dylan (THE WHOLE SONG. JUST LISTEN.)

ULTIMATE SONG: UNDER PRESSURE – QUEEN & DAVID BOWIE / ANNIE LENNOX & DAVID BOWIE(THE LAST PART OF THE SONG IS ONE OF THE BEST ENDINGS, EVER. IN ANY SONG. EVER. THE FREAKING MELODY. THE LYRICS. BEST. EVER. One video isn’t enough so here’s TWO!)

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure – that burns a building
down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
It’s the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out
Pray tomorrow – gets me higher
Pressure on people – people on streets
She been around
Kicked my brains round the floor
These are the days it never rains but it pours
People on streets
Insanity laughs under pressure we’re
cracking
Can’t we give ourselves one more chance
Why can’t we give love that one more
chance
Why can’t we give love
Give love give love give love give love
Give love give love give love
Love’s such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves

This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure
Under pressure
Pressure

FREDDIE FREAKIN’ MERCURY, YOU ARE MISSED. SO MUCH!

Kris also gave the most awe-ness and funny acceptance look ever! hahaa He also gave one of the sweetest hugs I’ve ever seen to his wife (DARNNIT! WHY IS HE MARRIED AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE NA? he’s only 23…) and man… it was really touching. These winning moments always get to me no matter what contest it is. Gorsh.

I’m a bit torn with the results though. I’ve noticed Adam since auditions because he was so… DIFFERENT and he had a very big personality. You always knew that you were in for a fun and UNPREDICTABLE moment with him! Haha But around the top 8-ish, I suddenly grew this seed of pang and I started being pissed at his screams. I don’t know why. Or maybe he just has the same tone in screaming. Danny Gokey proved that he can scream too though except with less pizzaz! haha I even made his scream into my ringtone! Ang sama ko! *I’m so bad!* But anyways, I knew Adam had a LOT of talent.

But came around that time too when i came to notice Kris Allen because of his humility (i admit i think he lacks SPICE until now. Hope that something big will happen to him!) and his ORIGINALITY. Some people might disagree with me but I think he made every song his own. Every song now has a trademark K.A. on it and I absolutely love his mellow voice. He proved himself to be one of the bests when he did Ain’t No Sunshine and then became a winner with Heartless! Even though I dislike the song No Boundaries (the coronation song), Kris did a good rendition on it in his STUDIO SINGLE (sorry the live performance didn’t click with me). It’s now the NUMBER 1 SINGLE ON ITUNES!! Kris is actually dominating the chart already with Heartless and Ain’t No Sunshine on the list too.

So those who are bashing Kris as a winner, I’m sorry but he DESERVED THIS. Adam DESERVED THIS AS WELL. Heck I wanted to crown both of them as a single unit KRADAM and get on with life already but there must only be one winner. If they say that they won’t watch AI just because of this, then what can I do? There’ll be newer viewers, newer voters and honestly will the change be radical? No. And Kris won BECAUSE OF AMERICA. Don’t blame Idol on this. Dudes, Kris won because OF YOUR VOTES (whoever the you is) and no one else. So he does deserve to be there because of YOU. The magical word is YOU and no one else no one else… oops I’m singing now hahaa

Not even 24 hours after being crowned idol, his single “NO BOUNDARIES” is already the NUMBER ONE song in iTunes. Heartless is at 4th, and Ain’t No Sunshine is at 10. You don’t get a fluke when you’re talking about money and buying songs now. Kris AND Adam will make it big no matter what happens. Let’s wait for their CDs now okay? I’ll always love your music Kris! Be like Jason Mraz BUT please don’t grow a beard @_@

And I’ll sure get Adam’s songs especially if they’re like Mad World. Just please… NO SCREAMING!! haha